What I hate

I hate it when someone is overly obsessed with their popularity- It’s like they just care about their reputation and nothing else. Just like one of my close friends- I love her to death but sometimes I feel like I might just loose her because I feel like she can drop me for someone else at any moment. She even admits that she wants to be popular and she would most likely enjoy it too. She says that she doesn’t like some of the people who are ‘very popular’ but when she’s around them, she’ll go act like she loves them to death.. She’ll go take pictures with them and hang around them- completely ignoring me.
It disgusts me.. It disgusts me very much. Hell- she’ll sometimes even insult me (which she says she means jokingly) and sometimes I even feel like she’s just doing it to get other peoples’ attention. For example- the first time I wore glasses outside of the house I thought I looked pretty decent… I mean I didn’t think I looked especially gorgeous or anything- but I looked alright. And the reason I didn’t make the effort to put contacts on was because I was upset- and crying makes your eyes a little dry and irritated so I just threw on glasses and left… I didn’t need an insult to end my day with. Not at all. I was actually looking for a decent complement- or at least a cover-up. Like- gosh you look so different! But instead, she came up to me when I was with my group of friends (she left me before when I was all alone) and crudely insulted me.
“Those glasses really don’t suit you. At all.”
Another thing I hate about some people are the people/groups they hang out with. The sweetest people would be hanging out with a complete bitch sometimes. Alright… Let’s say there’s this girl named Ally. So this chick likes to talk about people behind their backs, use people, act like she’s a certain person’s friend, and sometimes even lie to get whatever the hell she wants at that moment- what I mean by that last one is… She once tore apart a couple just because she was in the mood to- for no apparent reason whatsoever.
What do you say about this chick? Well wait what about this one (let's say her name is Katie)- what would you say about this girl who wanted popularity- she went and got her hair highlighted blonde and she now acts like a blonde to get some attention (she’s actually very smart, she just never shows it. It’s always covered)? She isn’t all that great. In fact, she doesn’t look all that great either. If it weren’t for her admired blonde hair and personality- she would be NOTHING right now.

Disgusting Silk Blouse

Alright. So there was this girl I saw today and she was wearing- you guessed it! A silky blouse! Big no no! As you can see, I really don't like silk blouses of any sort- it can be pretty to you guys but it's a waste of money. When she was wearing the silk blouse her sleeves were like falling off and I was like PORNO! lol. I really DIDN'T like it! See the first thing with silk blouses is that they stain easily- and once they stain they just don't look good.
Second, they cost a lot of money-so you're basically throwing your money away. Third (as I said earlier) they just don't LOOK GOOD.

This is really old..

Today at school we went on a field trip and when we came back, we had packed lunches ready for us. Our lunches had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, raisins, gram crakers, and this one other item in it.. I don't know what to call it- it was Mott's Applesause.. And it tasted like STRAWBERRIES. But I decided on two things: strawberry flavored applesauce or strawberrysauce.
Now you tell me- which one is right? Cause I got super confused. I didn't know what to call it. My friend asked what I was eating and I was going to say 'applesauce' but I stopped in my tracks. It did NOT taste like apples! Why should I call it applesauce?! How does that make any seance??? I mean- if it tasted like applesauce then maybe.. Just maybe, I could call it applesauce, but NO! It tasted like STRAWBERRIES!
STRAWBERRIES! NOT apples! Wait so that leads to one more thing- it cannot be called strawberry flavored applesauce then. Because if it did, then it would have a weird taste of a mixture of strawberries and apples and that wouldn't taste all that great. So I guess it's Strawberrysauce, then? Why don't you tell me.
(COMENT.)

Fries

Hello:]
I was really upset when I was eating at school a few days back because the food was so disgusting... Example: the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches had frozen solid peanut butter and the fries were NOT FRIED. Okay, first off, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is NOT supposed to have frozen hard peanut butter. The peanut butter is the whole freaking purpose of the PEANUT BUTTER and jelly sandwich.
You do NOT ever, under any circumstances, EVER freeze the PEANUT BUTTER IN THE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH. Never. Now over to the fries. You see, it really upsets me when people don't pay attention to what they are supposed to do with foods. You don't see me baking eggs do you? NO.
Oh, and I understand that eating fried foods is bad for you, but we have lives people! SPARE US! At lease FRY THE FREAKIN FRIES ONCE A WEEK. I really hope people would get this into their heads. Fries are NOT meant to be baked! Or fries would be called 'bakes'. Are they called bakes? No.
Please please get that into your heads people!

Starbucks

You know- there was a lot that I didn't know about Starbucks.. First off- I didn't know that Starbucks went around and planted one thousand trees in three neighborhoods (a thousand people helped). Second, I didn't know that there was such thing as an Espresso Truffle! I went on their website to grab a little info- so I know what to order BESIDES a Carmel Macchiato (hot or cold), a Peppermint Hot Chocolate, or a Double Chocolate Chip Frap. But as soon as I entered it- it showed me about their 'Starbucks Shared Planet' (you and Starbucks- it's bigger than coffee) thing and I was a little surprised! I didn't know that even exsisted; I didn't know about their environment stewardship thing either. Lastly, I didn't know about their Carmel Macchiato Ice cream- I thought they only had Mudslide and like two other flavors (Mudslide is pretty good- the first time I tried an acctual Mudslide was at Applebees on my birthday). My point is- it pretty much shocked me to see that this stuff exsisted because they don't show it at their stores at all- at least I think not cause the last time I checked- which was this morning they had nothing up. I personally think that if they showed it, they would have gotten a lot more business- and that's great cause they already have so much right now.

Cheeseburger Bed

You know what I thought would be really interesting? A CHEESEBURGER BED. I saw this on the internet because I was flipping through furniture sites- I need new furniture.. This bed is amazing! It has cheese and lettuce and everything! I would totally get this bed and make my room food-based.
I mean, wouldn't it be amazing answering questions like these (when you have people over):
"How do you sleep in that bed?"
"Oh, that's easy. You just sleep in between the buns, on top of the cheese and meat, under the lettuce, and you rest your head on the tomatoes."
I don't know about you but I think that would be just.. Amazing.

A piece of art

What I've always wanted to write was something adventurous or something out of the ordinary. I've always wanted to write about something so completely original- I mean I write about relationships in my novel (which is not published yet). I want to come up with something genius- like This is How it Happened By Jo Barrett. Something different- a piece of art. I just started reading This is How it Happened today and it starts off very amusing- although the chapters are not to lengthy, they still are pretty interesting.
Very amusing- love the comedy that's squeezed into this novel! Along with The Beach House By Jane Green. Wonderful work- you never know when things are about to turn around and the author keeps the reader so surprised all of the time right up to the end. I love how the story ended and how the loose ends were all tied up at the end, but I didn't want this book to end!
I love many other books, but there are certain things that I've always wanted to write about- like i said in the beginning, adventure.
Something nice and well thought out- different, original, exciting. I want my readers to love my writing. But I can never think of anything so great.. For example, Jumanji. A M A Z I N G. Great movie! I sometimes wonder how they came up with it and then think about imagination. Well sorry to say but my imagination can only run so far without getting all messed up and crammed and then the story I think about is totally and completely screwed. Not going there:]

A Real Creeper

What most people undertake in life would be crushes.. You know- you like someone.. Well not really 'love' like if you know what I mean. But there are certain people who like someone a little more than necessary- to the point where that person thinks that the guy/girl he or she likes is completely head over heals in love with them. Well for you guys- I'm sorry. That's not life. And life's not fair.
I know of one of my friends who behave in this manner and it confuses me to death. I mean I sit there and listen to her talk and talk and talk about her crush (who she now calls 'her man') and I get a little annoyed. Hell- sometimes she even throws in the 'she better stay off my man' thing. Sad to say- she does not text him, call him, or even talk to him (very rarely they even say 'hello'). I feel very bad about this.. She's scaring the poor guy away- I mean he even admits that he does not like her.
I look at him and I think.. Man I feel terrible.. poor guy. Well I want to tell her what she's doing.. But I can't just be straight forward and say 'you're a creeper'. That right there would be terribly rude and I'm still her friend ya know? I still have to be there for her when she is crying and I defiantly do not want to be the reason for her tears. What's even more terrible about this is that the guy that my friend likes was in love with me.. And I couldn't help but like him back- he was perfect. He had respect for people, he showed maturity, he was great from heart and I knew he would always keep me happy.
Heck- we even went on a date with some friends. But a little later- I think it was maybe a week I realized I could not do this anymore. Dating you're friends crush.. That would tear her apart and I really don't know what I was thinking. So I laid off little by little until we were nothing.. But still- I think of him just a teeny bit.
Just a little bit.

Human Race Machine

The Human Race Machine

I was amazed when I read about the human race machine! It's like soo cool. You sit down in a booth, and it takes your picture. Next, you pin point different facial features i.e. nose, mouth, eyes. Lastly you choose which race to be changed and the machine shows you how you would look if you were a different race. The Human Race Machine has the following races to choose from: Black, Asian, White, Hispanic, Indian, and Middle- Eastern. The machine can show you how you would look twenty years from now and it can also show you how you would look if you had a genetic disorder (there are five genetic disorders to choose from).
Personally, I think this is pretty damn interesting.

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Three Year Old Boy Trapped Inside of Day Care Van.

Athorities found a three year old boy locked inside of a day care van for three hours- the day care he attends is Tom Thumb Nursery (located in Dallas, Texas). When found, the toddler was crying and very hungry. Later on, police and investigators investigated the day care centre.

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Driving Permit/Lisence

I was really, really looking forward to getting my permit and license.. But then I found out they're changing the age for both.. Because they think teenagers are irresponsible- cause they get into a lot of accidents and drive drunk and crap like that.. This pissed me off. I don't get it how they would just give all the teenagers a punishment. Like those stupid ass teenagers who do shit, they should just like take their permit away for a year and I'm pretty sure they won't even THINK about doing any bull shit with their vehicle again. But no, they have to punish all of us and make us wait for what we have been waiting for since we HEARD about it.
That's retarded. On top of that, I'm turning fifteen like a couple of weeks after school starts.. That really sucks. It's sorta like restricting something that I wanted on my birthday. Fuck.

My Phone Curfew.

This whole phone curfew thing my mom has put up is getting on my nerves.. I mean first it was 'you cannot talk after twelve". Then she changed it to 'you cannot talk after ten'. And now it's 'you cant talk after NINE'. What the heck? Does that make any sense? I mean does she WANT to get on my nerves? I know I talk on the phone for a while, but that's cause I really need to vent to someone like everyday about what's going on and crap (what I feel bad about) or I'll get all depressed..
I mean.. If my mom wants me to get depressed, it's fine. I will never talk on my phone again. But I highly doubt that.. And I'm not really willing to give up my talking.. Cause I talk a bunch. When I start a topic, I don't stop. Nonstop talking. lol. Just find a good topic that won't offend me and I can talk foreverrr. But that's the one thing people don't understand, like what I meant by not offending is like a dirty disgusting topic. But like if you told me to talk about George Bush.. Wow I would talk toooo much.
It's just the way I am.. Like I love to talk about certain topics, where I wouldn't stop talking- but most people don't know my favorite topics to talk about:].

Colored Contacts

I am officially getting colored contacts! YAY! I am like so happy! Well I'm not getting them untill my mom confirms it, which is an 85% chance! As long as I keep up my grades and do nothing bad, I will get colored contacts (the true saphire ones or the light purple/violet ones). YAYAYYAAY! Okay. I don't get why the other 20% chance came true. My mom isn't letting me get colored contacts. I don't see why she wouldn't let me buy them... I mean- It's almost the same price as regular contacts, except for a couple a' bucks more- but honestly, it's worth getting something better then the regular you know.. There is really nothing wrong with colored contacts- they make you look a little bit better but that's probably it. Wait.. Is there something wrong with looking good?
If there was, I didn't know. Tell me, really- was there something wrong with looking good? Cause the way my mom interprets her actions gives me a little feeling that looking pretty in this century leads to RAPE. Ughhhhh. I just FREAKING HATE IT WHEN SHE DOES THAT. She makes me happy, I get my hopes up, and then she ruins it completely.. Like by the end I feel terrible when she comes up to my face and says no to something I really want..
It's not like I waste money either, I like preserve my clothes.. Especially my jeans. Use em' for atleast three years, and when they get short, I cut them into bermudas to wear in the summer and it looks pretty good. Then there are those rare electronics she pays for.. The only electronic that she payed for was my camera. Everything else, my iPod, my mp3 players, and all that crap I payed for. I dislike my mom paying for anything expencive cause then she uses it against me like my dad does all of the time.
For example: 'Hey dad I really need to buy some shoes, cause these ones are tearing and like.. You know.. It looks sort of bad..' and then he says: 'I bought you a phone, what more do you want? You weren't supposed to buy anything else for a year.' Wow dad. You made a wonderful point there! Then of corse, I tell him that if I don't these shoes soon.. I will fail (that wasn't a joke or a bribe, I litterally would fail). So he FINALLY agrees, but then eventually forgets.
On the other hand, if you look at the spoiled and exact opposite of me- my brother you would trully want to live his freaking life. Damn he has it easy. Here's how his room looks.. You walk in and the first thing you see is a: PSP, PS2, PS3, Wii, XBox360, iPod touch (regular), iPod touch (third generation), and to top that shit load of electronics off, a Plazma. I don't see why this happened though.. I mean, like yesterday my brother asked for a skin/case thing for one of his iPod touches.. And the world stops.. Like I freaking skipped ginan class to go to the mall with him to face him and his whiney self to get his freaking iPod SKIN/CASE THING!
I asked my mom to let me spend freaking four dollars on something I liked and she freaking bitched at me for no good reason (oh- and an iPod skin/case thing is a little more than ten bucks)! You see, if this happenes one or two times, it's not really a problem.. But when this happenes whenever you ask for something and you don't really get anything no matter WHAT but your sibling can ask for something oh-so-expencive and get it within minutes, it becomes a PROBLEM. I asked to get my laptop fixed, because my mom freaking knows that I use it for writing esays and my novel but she doesn't BOTHER taking THAT in for repair- but she still wants me to get good grades and study and practice writing! HA. Nice try!
I would fail on purpose but I really can't afford to do that these last two semesters, like I won't get into that school (GSMST) that I wanned to get into. But I do recall this one time that I asked why she wouldn't buy me anything and she would buy my brother everything and yes, she responded with 'It's not like that. You're just taking it in the wrong way.' But later I tried getting more out of her and she said that we were running out of money. PLEASE don't BS me like that. It doesn't work.
Because people who run out of money don't go buy a new game system and a console and a nunchuck and a new iPhone, iPod, and designer wear. They just DON'T. Speaking of designer wear- shoes, as I was saying, I need shoes. Whenever I get shoes, I take special special care of them and save them. My brother gets freaking designer shoes for over a 100 bucks every three months. What's that? Oh right, I can't spend that much on shoes. I absolutely cannot buy a pair of everlasting sneakers for 30 bucks.
Okay, that's enough. Calm down.

Depression

  I hate it how I sometimes get depressed for the smallest things. Don't you hate it? HA. You're probably annoyed:] It's pretty tiring.. Cry, cry, cry, ICE CREAM BABY! And lemme tell ya, ice cream HELPS! You just eat a whole bunch and you're fine! If I had to choose what to eat when I was depressed it would be Ben & Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and a Monster energy drink- that's the way to go.

 See, but I didn't ever do that.. I started being really stupid and went emo. This was until I realized what it did to me and how it made me act.. But then it was too late! Crap. But I'm still trying my hardest NOT to be emo, cause I know it's wrong and I, myself want to stop. I just wish I knew how to get out of this phase.. It's very difficult. My counselor found out about this and he had to sit down and tell me what goes on when I cut myself..

 And then he called my MOM.  My question is, why do they HAVE to tell my parents EVERYTHING?! It gets a little annoying after a while.. Well, back to the main topic. So I learned what it does.. You know when you like accidentally fall or trip and scrape your knee or like start bleeding? Well your brain's super smart so it sends down to make you feel better.. And what your brain sends down is sorta the same thing as heroin. As in, like it has the same effect. And that's when it gets addicting.

 So now tell me, is it easy to let go of drugs? Not really.. But if you try super super hard and make the effort to stop cutting, your addiction can go away. That's what I'm doing now:] And it's sorta-ish working.. Well not really but at least I'm trying. I only cut when it's totally and completely necessary. The only reason I would cut in the first place was because I needed a distraction from my emotions. What I would do (sorta like my theory) was: slit my arm several times to distract myself from my tears.

 Great theory, huh? No, not really. But it was working. lol. It's not really that big of a deal, but people take it so hard, you know what I mean? So that's why everyone is like 'awww, poor girl." No. Nothing is wrong with me! And when I don't listen to people when they tell me to stop, they start arguing with me! What I always tell them is, try and understand. Then I walk away, end of conversation. I mean, if I stayed any longer, everyone would make a huge deal out of it anyway.. Right?

GSMST

 So I decided to go for GSMST.. So I gave my mom the forms and she happily signed them and she and I are PRAYING that I get in.. Like no joke, if I get into this school I will feel like theluckiest girl in the world.. But I have one big problem.. My ex goes to that school and I don't think the whole 'moving on' scheme is going to work if I see him.  I mean just seeing him makes me cry.. I can't even smile in front of him, I have to force it:'(..

 It gets difficult when you have to make a run to the restroom to save your SANITY. Yeah, I tried getting over him, but yet, I miss him a lot.. And it hurts not to see him so it's sorta weird.. But then again, the last time I saw him (an hour or so after seeing his face) I was sitting in class and I starting breathing heavily and my eyes started welling and I had a strange gut feeling in my stomach.. I guess I should try a little harder to get over him.. I mean I did block him everywhere.. But after a while I just couldn't take it, you know what I mean? Well, back to the school topic. I'm signing up for this school because it's good for me, and it can prepare me for the worst and what not. All done:]

Makeup/Premature Aging.

  It gets on my nerves how almost everyone is wearing a load of makeup nowadays.. I mean, they looked pretty without it, so they shouldn't be wearing it. I only wear makeup like once in three weeks. I guess they don't see what the makeup is doing to their skin gradually. It's a little something I call pre-mature aging. 

 For the people who don't know what pre-mature aging is, it's when your skin starts aging sevral years earlier than necessary. I.E. wrinkles, fine lines, dry skin, eye baggs, NOT dark circles. Dark circles are developed because of no sleep, depression, or a lack of vitamins... and crying. See, whenever I put makeup on, I just apply eyeliner and mascara. I never really go for heavy eye makeup like eyeshadow or blush. 

 Except for that one time on new years eve (2008-09). But I looked really bad that day, so I thought I would look better with makeup on.. Great excuse, huh?

Motherly 'Love'

 Okay, my mother has serious issues (I still love her and all, but this got on my nerves). Does she have to compare me to my friends in my grade level? It's like everyday she says things like: 'I met somebody today, your friend's mom' 'she did this, she has straight A's, she's so much better than you!'. Does she expect me to be like a twin sister to EVERYONE in my grade?! You know how freaking hard I'm working in school?? I promised myself to get straight A's this semester (and all the ones after this).. 

 I study while everyone else in class is slaking off/texting their friends/taking pictures/talking to other people. I even stopped READING in school cause I thought it was a distraction! How much further can I go?? Should I freaking stop wearing pretty clothes/accessories? Should I stop being decent? Should I loose my social life/friends outside of school? Should I completely just think about school all day and ruin everything else? Should I stop talking to people?!

 Oh! I know!! Better yet, I'll just start acting like a psycho and spaz out every time I get less than a 99% in school! PERFECT! No. Maybe when I get straight A's she'll leave me alone..

Landlord's Gift?

Okay, So like my parents went and bought a gift for theirlandlord. That's right! LANDLORD. The more surprising thing is, the gift was (in total) $100. See? That's what just gets on my nerves. They can't book a doctors appointment, but they CAN buy a gift for their LANDLORD- who they don't even know THAT WELL for $100. I'm sorry, this is just IRRITATING.
I tried telling my mom that maybe they should get him something that isn't so expensive, because honestly, I really don't know who would buy their landlord a GIFT. But my mom, as usual, laughed at me and asked 'Do you want it? Is that what you are trying to say, Nicky?'. My DAD, who usually doesn't listen, LISTENED and thought about it in his head and then he looked at my mom with a 'I'm so stupid' look and he told her 'Maybe we should've bought something more cheap..'. But my mom said 'You're listening to a child?!'.
It's stupid. People think that when someone does something, the other person is naive, and they shouldn't comment on whatever they are doing. YOU AREN'T SMART. IF YOU WERE THEN YOU WOULD'VE BOUGHT YOUR FREAKING LANDLORD SOMETHING MORE CHEAP!

Forgive and Forget

  Another one of the things that I hate are when people hold grudges! It's so stupid! Like this one person I know.. Well see, there was this one time that I skipped class, and she caught me. So she called my mom and what not. But from that day on, she always gave my the pity look.
  IT GOT ON MY NERVES. I make mistakes, so does everyone else. You can't say that you haven't done something bad in your life, Sherlock.
  Don't pretend to be an angel and think that you will always be right and I will always be wrong. I seriously just think it's stupid.  Forgive and forget. I bet you that your mom taught you that a million times, but you probably weren't listening. I remember this one other time I went to REC and right after, we were going to celebrate my birthday.
  So before I left, I threw on the dress my cousin gave me as a gift (I LOVE THAT DRESS). The dress was solid black and short, but not too short. So I put it on and got in the car to go to REC. Before I got in the car my mom was like, that looks really pretty- I said thanks and smiled.
  I was a little late to REC so when I got there, that some woman was standing there and I was like: GOD PLEASE HELP ME! So as I got closer to her, I was like 'Hey' and she was like 'Where is your mom? Why are you late?'.  OF COURSE! She thought I was skipping class!!
  So I said that my mom just dropped me off. Then she asked why I was wearing a dress and I told her about me going to celebrate my birthday afterward.. She gave me a smug grin when I said 'birthday' and asked for my mom's number. I gave it to her, wondering why she would want to call my mom right then. But when she dialed I told her that she forgot her phone at home, because she was in a hurry. After that I told her that she could call her again in another fifteen minutes because by then she would be home.
  So she frowned and told me to go to class with a tardy slip and called me back just before I opened the door and gave my a shawl to wear on my back because my bra strap was showing. When I got out of class and checked my phone, I saw a missed call from my mom. I called her back within five minutes of my release and she picked up with fury in her voice..
  "HOW COULD YOU WEAR THAT DRESS, NICKY? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO WEAR THAT DRESS AGAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND?" "Mom?? What happened mom?" "YOUR REC PRINCIPLE CALLED AND TOLD ME EVERYTHING" "What do you mean by everything mom? Calm down mom!" "YOUR DRESS, NICKY. IT'S TERRIBLE, ITS HIDEOUS.." "SLOW DOWN. Tell me her exact words, mom"
 "Okay, she said: 'do you have any idea what your daughter was wearing today?'" "Mom.. Please don't get mad at me... At least not today, mom. She doesn't like me mom, she hates me, and you know that. Try and understand... Mom I gotta go.. I'll talk to you when I get home..."
  I put down the phone so my mom wouldn't hear me cry... She wouldn't care anyway... But it hurt so much. That woman and my mom literally ruined my own birthday. It was already going bad enough because I missed my ex (now my boyfriend) so much:[
  They made it worse.. And that's when I found out why she grinned when I said birthday. She hates me, and she will NEVER forgive and forget...    

 

Dream.

 My alarm clock rang at 5:30am today because I was supposed to do some extra studying in my science notes and textbook. I hit snooze and I felt exhausted because I was still so tired, so I decided to wake up at 7:00am instead and get two extra hours of sleep- two hours of studying are better than none. I fell right back to sleep.. But I had a terrible dream... The dream was taking place at the mall and it was night time. When I got out of the store that I was shopping in, I saw my boyfriend. Surprised, I ran up to him to give him a big hug and a kiss when he backed away and shrugged. I looked at him with confusion and wondered what was going on... He looked me and pointed a remote control towards the ceiling, where a big flat screen and a mini-screen beside it came up. He looked at me and then the screen and sat down with his back against a store window. I stared at the mini-screen and up came a series of pictures of me and him.. The mini-screen read: I loved you so much... I walked back wards to sit beside him while a tear trembled out the side of my eyes.. He wasn't there. He didn't love me anymore.. Look at the words.. I loved you so much.. So I looked around so desperate to find him again and ask what was wrong.. I never found him:[. I went to go outside (apparently, my mom was coming to pick me up after my tragedy). When I stepped out the doors of the mall, there was a flood, and stairs underneath the water (weird, huh?). When I stepped into the water (I was being stupid) I started drowning and the water was pitch black.. I tried getting up the stairs... But I fell back into the water and then woke up.. Good Morning Nicky
 

Baking

 I either bake when i'm really really happy, or really really sad. Please note that when I am sad or angry I add specific punctuation, and that specific punctuation is a period & my writing tends to be boring. Today I am baking cupcakes. And I am sad. I don't want to really tell people why I am sad, because it is pretty pathetic anyway and I shouldn't be whiny.
 I should really just get over it.. I should get over it right? I mean.. I don't want to like be angry and like get on people's nerves and get myself into trouble and get everything taken away again (that would mean NO MORE BLOGGING and NO MORE PHONE). Let me make my decision.. 
Hmmm..... Okay, I'm not going to be sad or angry. All I think I need is a good movie,  bowl of ice cream, and a drink... And his voice. Then I'll be fine (I think). 

Explain it in Person

 LORD. Dreams are so confusing! I remember this one time I was having his dream where this giant ball made of post-it notes was rolling towards me and I had to freaking run for my LIFE. It sounds funny, but it was SCARY. It was almost like a giant bolder.. UGH. 
 I like woke up sweating and screaming! Oh and the other dream that this was supposed to be about, ask me what the dream was in person. No seriously, you won't understand it. lol. And that's cause there's like a different way to say things.. Okay this is like confusing, and I don't want to confuse you:]
 I'm pretty good at confusing people.. But I won't confuse you:] Don't worry! Just ask me what the dream was in person:D!
P.S. ITS CON-FUH-ZUH-LING BAY BAY
*courtesy of Rachel 

Edward.

 So there's this guy in like two of my classes and I had this feeling.. Well not a feeling, but I sorta think he relates to Edward. That's right! A vampire. Please don't laugh. Lol. I'm not going to say his name for you people out there who would like to bug him about my blogg. 
 Well yeah, I am pretty sure that he is a vampire because I have some creepy evidence.. Well I wouldn't call it evidence.. But theories. lol. Alright, so he doesn't eat.. I have never seen him in the sun.. EVER. Except for this one time the whole class went outside and like he was standing in the SHADE. 
 SHADE!! HE WAS STANDING IN THE SHADE! I wonder what would've happend if he went into the sun.. *Sparkle*Sparkle*. OH LAWD ITS EDWARD AND HE'S SHINING LIKE A MILLION DIAMONDS! 

Guys & Emotion

Today I was at school and I couldn't help but think back to my disgusting, emo, depressing and uncomforting days where I used to cry myself to sleep and I couldn't help thinking if the right guy will come into my life.. Guys are so.. UGH. Well I thought about this.. Will guys ever develop emotion? Like in any point of their life, will they understand, or should I just get the thought of 'single for the rest of my life' into my mind? I don't get this.. But I completely do understand that I will seriously give dating a big break.. As in AGE break. Maybe I'm just not ready, or I'm not good enough for certain guys. Maybe I just need a certain type of guy.. I don't know. Lets leave it that way.. And one more thing for the girls that are viewing this website.

Don't cry over a guy.. It's not worth it and it will NEVER be worth it.. Honestly, If he really did love you, he wouldn't do shit to you in the first place. Don't give him second chances. You never know if he has changed or not. The problem with most guys today is, they don't understand the concept of our feelings, they just don't know it feels to be treated like shit.. They don't know what we have been through/are going through. If they did, then just MAYBE they wouldn't be jackasses. BUT, I doubt it cause my last boyfriend was STILL a jackass after the appology (I'm not saying any names). And what was really really sad was, he was PROUD of it. He called HIMSELF an asshole.. It really got on my nerves but I didn't tell him anything. He freaking accepts himself as an asshole... That is what you call a clueless, immature teenager.

You don't see me going around calling myself a slut do you?? 'Hahahaaa.. Yeah I am such a slut. I can't believe I gave that guy a blow job. I am such a slut! haha!' No. It's just so unbelieveable. And he texted me, (my ex.. again, not saying any names. don't want to screw up his precious reputation, do we?) and he said: Hey, look I know your mad but dontknow why. I know your hurt.... but don't see why. I understand your pain...but don't think you deserve it. I don't know why you were mad yesterday. And I don't see why you would tell other people crap about me. I wanna talk. When you get the chance. Please call or text me.

Okay that was the SADDEST TEXT I HAVE EVER READ. So he can text me, but he can't call me? What the hell? Great going! That was so smart! It's okay. I mean I'm not gonna talk to him anyway. If he cared he would've done better then just that text. Not even ONE call. Pathetic. Soooo pathetic.

Florida

  Alright so I went to Florida this year for winter break and I had a ton of fun. We went to Tampa and Orlando! But we didn't go to Walt Disney World, we only went to Universal Studios. Other then that, it is truly a beautiful state. Lots and lots of sunshine, energy and kind people. It's almost like this: strangers treating you as family.    And when we (me and my family) drove into the state, I immediately thought about moving. Everyone was so nice and  everything had its certain personality in Florida. Florida is just different! No way to really explain that though.. But I mean, over there, they don't just start looking at what you did in the past, or how you look, they look at YOU. Your personality, your way of thinking.

Two of my friends moved in from Florida and they said the same thing: Florida people are better- Florida is better itself. They miss Florida so much because when they got a taste of Atlanta... It's just so terribly boring. Now think about Atlanta, Atlanta is ALL about popularity. It's basically a popularity contest. It's all about how you look, how you dress, your past, who you dated and most importantly, WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE. It really gets on my nerves. Is it that necessary to size everyone (look a person up and down)? Is it? People are so rude.

  If you come to Atlanta, and you don't have any friends here that are popular to the extreme, you aren't good-looking, and you don't have Abercrombie clothing (or the latest designer wear), you are officially screwed.. Sorry. See why I said that Florida is better? Heck, even I don't want to live here...